There is a saying that you can’t judge a book by its cover. But you can judge a man or a woman by the choice of the watch. Why is that, you wonder? Well, the time when the watch was needed has passed a long time ago. Nowadays, the wristwatch is an expression of style. So, as your shoes need to be polished, and your shirt or a dress must be ironed, your watch also has to have certain fashion standards. A wristwatch is the only accessory that has the power to completely make your outfit look stunning or stunningly bad. So, let’s take a look at some stereotypes and some general opinions about them. Few things you should have in mind.

One: don’t wear a watch that is better than your boss’s if you want to stay in the company. Two: we are nice guys, so we won’t name names, but you’ll get the point.

Three: it’s just for fun, so don’t get offended.

Fresh meat

Ah, the young and compulsive buyer. Usually fresh from the college. Now, given the assumption that he doesn’t want to spend too much of his grandma’s Christmas money and he hasn’t got a clue about watches, he decides to go big. Not too big (grandma’s money is limited), but something shiny. Something that will tell the world he is young and hungry for success. Won’t listen to anyone but himself, and his favorite Internet browser. He googles the price of classic watches and he has a mini panic attack.

Verdict: he ends up buying a fake luxury watch thinking no one will notice. But everyone notices. And now he has an overpriced copy of a watch on his wrist and he installs different Internet browsers.

Wannabe stylish

He doesn’t know much about watches. Period. But someone told him that expensive means good. He is willing to give his three-month salary for something he doesn’t like. But he thinks that will open up the gates of Wall Street for him. He buys one of the famous expensive brands. Just like with the new partner, every his sentence now begins with: “My wristwatch this, my wristwatch that…”. Doesn’t even know the type of movement or what do that weird little letters on the back serve for.

Verdict: He ends up with a broken expensive watch and a CPR. He threw his nice watch in the sea on the 50 meters depth to prove its water resistance. Then he tried to free-dive it.

Watch hipster

Oh, the usual wristwatches are so boring. He wears a green, star-shaped pocket watch on his wrist. Why and how? No one knows. He likes watches made of wood, the hipbone of a mammoth, or the famous Nuremberg egg ones. But not the real deal, as they are rare and awfully expensive. Usually, he looks like he stole his grampa’s watch. 

Verdict: He will tell you stories about his rare and precious watch that he dug up in the deserts of Egypt. When you point out the “Made in China” mark, he will get offended. Maybe he will even prohibit you from going on his indie band concerts.  

Smartwatch proud owner

A kid you wonder how the heck he got his driving license. When you mention Schmeichel, he will ask: Kaspar? He will bore you with every single little feature his plastic monstrosity can do, completely ignoring the fact you are not interested, even a little bit.

Verdict: smartwatch owners usually hide the ugly truth they can’t tell time on the classical watch. Also, smartwatches are just...not watches. At least not in classical style. If you tell him that, his heartbeat will go higher and he will spend 300 calories while being offended.

Young and successful/rich

The keyword here is young. You see, just as good wine, a good taste usually has to age a bit. But the young money crowd has no time for it. So, the bigger, the better. The more expensive the better. The shinier, so it looks great on social platforms, the better. Whatever will gain them more clicks/likes. There is even a sort of famous guy that has a roulette watch on his wrist. We didn’t make this up. He ordered his handmade watch to have a roulette wheel on it.

Verdict: you will usually find them in the nearest hospital. While they were DJ-ing, making vlogs or podcasts,  the unholy weight of their platinum franken-watch resulted in a broken wrist. Or someone casually robbed them.

The secret agent

You will be fooled by his appearance, at the start. Nice guy, nice suit. When he puts out his hand for a firm yet respectable handshake, you will notice a large scuba watch on his wrist.  Often followed with a fake British accent and oily hair. Try not to laugh in his face, it’s not polite. And maybe he has a license to kill.

Verdict: James Bond is the only one that can wear a big sports watch on a formal suit. No one else.

The final verdict

Ok, we have had our fair share of fun, we admit. But buying a watch just for the sake of having it doesn’t make sense at all. A wristwatch is something personal, not just a fashion accessory. We have nothing against people who buy luxury watches, on the contrary. We just have too much respect for our work and the work of every other watchmaker. Also, we like it when someone wears a nice watch. Especially if someone wears our watches with a bit of style. Of course, everyone has a right to choose. But, please, don’t buy a watch just so you can say you own a watch. Also, don’t be a snob. You should buy a watch if you want to wear it. The price of the watch doesn’t have to mean anything. Numerous watchmakers overcharge their customers just for the brand name. Don’t be that guy.

October 22, 2020 by Christopher Day

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